July 07, 2012
F1 Quals: Great Britain 2012
Yup, it rained. A lot. So much, in fact, we had a red flag for weather conditions in the middle of Q2... that lasted for over an hour. It lasted for so long that The Pond's DVR didn't catch the last two minutes of Q3, arrrrgh.
Q1 started in less-than-wet conditions, but then the rains came. Q2 started right on the edge of difference between Intermediates and Full Wets, but only four drivers even tried to take the gamble. None of them were able to turn a full lap before all heck broke loose. While the drivers soldiered on gamely, the conditions went from "awful" to "half the contents of the English Channel dumped on track". Let me put it this way: Slappy Schumacher used to be called "Der Regenmeister" for his skill at driving on a wet circuit. On the final lap before the stewards threw the red flag, he went off-track four times. One of those times, he seemed to slide sideways for a couple hundred meters before his Mercedes ground to a halt. It was Korea-bad, that's how bad it was. So what does the lineup look like after all this rain? Here's the provisional starting grid:
Jenson Button's lousy record at his home race continues; only twice in the past seven GP of Britain has he qualified higher than 14th, and he's never finished on the podium. He just couldn't get anything going with the McLaren today, and he's actually lucky he's 18th... it could have just as easily been worse, he was going so poorly. On the other hand, Mumbles Raikkonen had his KERS unit fail in Q1 and they never got it repaired. The weather was so bad that a lack of KERS didn't hurt him: pressing the "Go Fast" button probably would have just thrown a car off-circuit anyway.
As is usually the case when a grid is scrambled by rain, there's no guessing who'll win tomorrow, when it's supposed to rain heavily again. No predictions this time around, in other words... your guess is as good as mine, and possibly better.
Race is tape-delayed tomorrow, we'll be up afterwards with the F1U!
Q1 started in less-than-wet conditions, but then the rains came. Q2 started right on the edge of difference between Intermediates and Full Wets, but only four drivers even tried to take the gamble. None of them were able to turn a full lap before all heck broke loose. While the drivers soldiered on gamely, the conditions went from "awful" to "half the contents of the English Channel dumped on track". Let me put it this way: Slappy Schumacher used to be called "Der Regenmeister" for his skill at driving on a wet circuit. On the final lap before the stewards threw the red flag, he went off-track four times. One of those times, he seemed to slide sideways for a couple hundred meters before his Mercedes ground to a halt. It was Korea-bad, that's how bad it was. So what does the lineup look like after all this rain? Here's the provisional starting grid:
Jenson Button's lousy record at his home race continues; only twice in the past seven GP of Britain has he qualified higher than 14th, and he's never finished on the podium. He just couldn't get anything going with the McLaren today, and he's actually lucky he's 18th... it could have just as easily been worse, he was going so poorly. On the other hand, Mumbles Raikkonen had his KERS unit fail in Q1 and they never got it repaired. The weather was so bad that a lack of KERS didn't hurt him: pressing the "Go Fast" button probably would have just thrown a car off-circuit anyway.
As is usually the case when a grid is scrambled by rain, there's no guessing who'll win tomorrow, when it's supposed to rain heavily again. No predictions this time around, in other words... your guess is as good as mine, and possibly better.
Race is tape-delayed tomorrow, we'll be up afterwards with the F1U!
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July 06, 2012
F1 Practice: Great Britain 2012
It doesn't always rain at Silverstone on F1 weekend. But when it does... hoo-hah! During today's two practice sessions, it was, it must be admitted, somewhat damp. How damp?
Yes, about that like that. For pretty much the entire first session, and for most of the second, the rain was coming down like the dickens. When cars did attempt to get out on track, it usually ended up in... what's the word?
Tears, that's it! It ended up in tears. It wasn't until the last half-hour of P2 that the rain backed down enough to go out with any realistic chance to get workable data. Even then, it was still wet enough to claim the Williams of Bruno Senna, who managed to bend both ends of the car in the same wreck. So with very little happening on track, let's go over some news from the F1 world!
First up, Maria De Villota's condition has been upgraded! It's now "serious, but stable." She went through another round of surgeries on her head and facial injuries today, the second batch. More information is coming out as to just exactly what happened; it appears that the truck's lift gate was down, and she hit it head-on. Even a helmet couldn't be much protection in that situation... she's seriously lucky she's alive.
Second, how much rain are they expecting this weekend at Silverstone? The track is actually telling fans not to attend the Quals session! At least, those fans without reserved parking or taking the ticket-only Park'n'Ride, or those camping at the track. Half of the parking lots at the circuit, grass fields mainly, are either under water or turned into swampy bogland. Oh, and the weather is also affecting the access routes to Silverstone... many people completely missed the day's practice sessions, stuck on the highway in a massive traffic jam.
Finally, here's a cool video I found a few days ago:
Quals Saturday morning; see ya then!
Yes, about that like that. For pretty much the entire first session, and for most of the second, the rain was coming down like the dickens. When cars did attempt to get out on track, it usually ended up in... what's the word?
Tears, that's it! It ended up in tears. It wasn't until the last half-hour of P2 that the rain backed down enough to go out with any realistic chance to get workable data. Even then, it was still wet enough to claim the Williams of Bruno Senna, who managed to bend both ends of the car in the same wreck. So with very little happening on track, let's go over some news from the F1 world!
First up, Maria De Villota's condition has been upgraded! It's now "serious, but stable." She went through another round of surgeries on her head and facial injuries today, the second batch. More information is coming out as to just exactly what happened; it appears that the truck's lift gate was down, and she hit it head-on. Even a helmet couldn't be much protection in that situation... she's seriously lucky she's alive.
Second, how much rain are they expecting this weekend at Silverstone? The track is actually telling fans not to attend the Quals session! At least, those fans without reserved parking or taking the ticket-only Park'n'Ride, or those camping at the track. Half of the parking lots at the circuit, grass fields mainly, are either under water or turned into swampy bogland. Oh, and the weather is also affecting the access routes to Silverstone... many people completely missed the day's practice sessions, stuck on the highway in a massive traffic jam.
Finally, here's a cool video I found a few days ago:
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July 05, 2012
Name This Mystery Ship XIX
This mystery ship just stumbled into my lap today. I had absolutely no plans to do one of these today, but it's too good to pass up... particularly because I don't think anybody will get it!
Take your best shot. No image searching, no cheating, no soliciting. Winner will get a post on a topic of their choice... g'wan, impress me.
Take your best shot. No image searching, no cheating, no soliciting. Winner will get a post on a topic of their choice... g'wan, impress me.
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July 04, 2012
F1 Dodges Tragedy; Merely Terrible
Awful news from the F1 world as Marussia test driver Maria De Villota suffered severe injuries during a straight-line test at Duxford Aerodrome on Tuesday. She had completed a series of runs in the MR01, and was bringing the car back to the temporary pit box the team had set up at the airport. The engine had been heard to be misfiring, hardly uncommon when you're talking about something as finely tuned as a V8 engine that produces 800hp at 18000rpm. The MR01 had nearly stopped when it suddenly jerked and accelerated to around 40mph before running into the lowered tailgate of the team's car transporter. It's thought that the engine went into anti-stall mode, though a different malfunction or driver error can not yet be ruled out.
As one could expect, the tailgate/truck combination did not move when the lightweight F1 car struck it. De Villota suffered serious injuries to the head and face. Reports are that it took a very long time to extract her from the car, but that there were EMTs on site immediately. Taken to a nearby hospital, she was reported to have suffered "life-threatening" injuries. Earlier today, Marussia reported that she is currently in critical but stable condition. Terribly, the doctors have reported that she's lost her right eye.
One of two female drivers associated with F1 teams (along with Susie Wolff of Williams), it's quite possible that De Villota would have become the first woman to drive in a modern F1 race. While not as obviously talented as Wolff, she was in a team more likely to go for the headlines (and money). Chances are she would have done passably well; certainly no worse than some drivers we've seen. While it is possible to obtain a FIA superlicense despite missing an eye, it seems unlikely considering her advanced age; she's 32, which is rather old for a rookie driver by F1 standards.
We here at F1Update! wish her a speedy recovery!
As one could expect, the tailgate/truck combination did not move when the lightweight F1 car struck it. De Villota suffered serious injuries to the head and face. Reports are that it took a very long time to extract her from the car, but that there were EMTs on site immediately. Taken to a nearby hospital, she was reported to have suffered "life-threatening" injuries. Earlier today, Marussia reported that she is currently in critical but stable condition. Terribly, the doctors have reported that she's lost her right eye.
One of two female drivers associated with F1 teams (along with Susie Wolff of Williams), it's quite possible that De Villota would have become the first woman to drive in a modern F1 race. While not as obviously talented as Wolff, she was in a team more likely to go for the headlines (and money). Chances are she would have done passably well; certainly no worse than some drivers we've seen. While it is possible to obtain a FIA superlicense despite missing an eye, it seems unlikely considering her advanced age; she's 32, which is rather old for a rookie driver by F1 standards.
We here at F1Update! wish her a speedy recovery!
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Independence Day 2012
George and Martha Washingduck wish you a happy 4th of July for all of us here at The Pond!
George and Martha Washingduck wish you a happy 4th of July for all of us here at The Pond!
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July 03, 2012
F1 on TV!: Great Britain 2012
This is something I haven't felt in a while when it comes to F1: a
little bit of excitement. Because The Circus brings itself home... the
teams return to Silverstone! Here's the track map for the 2012 Grand
Prix of Great Britain:
It's not the classic Silverstone. Heck, it's not even the Silverstone of 2009. The track used to go, for all intents and purposes, from Abbey to Brooklands. The circuit was modified to host a round of the MotoGP championship, and to update the pit lane. Said pit lane used to be between Woodcote (previously Turn 1
and Copse (which used to be Turn
1) and was about as old as any in F1. Oddly, the new pit lane is the
shorter route from Turn 15 to the start/finish line, even with the speed
limit in the pits... in theory. In practice, the FIA will bring down
the wrath of god on anybody who tries that trick.
The new "Arena" section created some new passing opportunities, even moreso with the return of KERS, but overall the circuit is somewhat bipolar. It's one of the fastest on the calendar with the highest average turn speed in F1, but there's a huge need for downforce here, too, thanks to the various near-hairpins. The high-speed sweepers require great grip as well, so while Silverstone doesn't have the overall highest top speed, it's ridiculously quick. Which makes it fun to watch AND drive!
I've said this every year, but Silverstone is the home of my favorite Turn... or, more correctly, sequence of turns. The Maggots-Becketts-Chapel complex, when done correctly, shows off the incredible maneuverability of a modern F1 car as it whips to and fro. It's a big reason why I'd rather watch a race here than anywhere else on the calendar (though Spa is close).
The weather forecast is for a standard British Summer day... in other words, windy and rainy. It doesn't help that the circuit is actually built on the site of a WWII RAF air base, where high winds were actually a benefit. As such, it's somewhat elevated above the surrounding terrain, having in effect its own microclimate. This means that it's quite common for rain to fall during a race, adding to the fun.
So, all in all, it'll be a good racing weekend... I hope. Of course, the Good Men of the Legendary Announce Team will be bringing us all the coverage we've come to expect, even during the FOX-based race. Let's look at the schedule:
FRIDAY
P1: 4a-530a streaming
P2: 8a-940a live on SPEED
SATURDAY
P3: 4a-5a streaming
Quals: 7a-830a plausibly live on SPEED
SUNDAY
Pre-race: 1030a-11a tapedelay on SPEED
Grand Prix of Great Britain: 11a-1p tapedelay on FOX
Post-race: 1p-130p tapedelay on SPEED
REPLAY: 10p-1a on SPEED
Of course, all times are Pond Central. Add one hour for the East coast, subtract two for the West, and subtract five for all those F1 fans amongst the Laysan Albatrosses on Midway Atoll. We'll see you on Friday for coverage of P2!
It's not the classic Silverstone. Heck, it's not even the Silverstone of 2009. The track used to go, for all intents and purposes, from Abbey to Brooklands. The circuit was modified to host a round of the MotoGP championship, and to update the pit lane. Said pit lane used to be between Woodcote (previously Turn 1
and Copse (which used to be Turn
1) and was about as old as any in F1. Oddly, the new pit lane is the
shorter route from Turn 15 to the start/finish line, even with the speed
limit in the pits... in theory. In practice, the FIA will bring down
the wrath of god on anybody who tries that trick.The new "Arena" section created some new passing opportunities, even moreso with the return of KERS, but overall the circuit is somewhat bipolar. It's one of the fastest on the calendar with the highest average turn speed in F1, but there's a huge need for downforce here, too, thanks to the various near-hairpins. The high-speed sweepers require great grip as well, so while Silverstone doesn't have the overall highest top speed, it's ridiculously quick. Which makes it fun to watch AND drive!
I've said this every year, but Silverstone is the home of my favorite Turn... or, more correctly, sequence of turns. The Maggots-Becketts-Chapel complex, when done correctly, shows off the incredible maneuverability of a modern F1 car as it whips to and fro. It's a big reason why I'd rather watch a race here than anywhere else on the calendar (though Spa is close).
The weather forecast is for a standard British Summer day... in other words, windy and rainy. It doesn't help that the circuit is actually built on the site of a WWII RAF air base, where high winds were actually a benefit. As such, it's somewhat elevated above the surrounding terrain, having in effect its own microclimate. This means that it's quite common for rain to fall during a race, adding to the fun.
So, all in all, it'll be a good racing weekend... I hope. Of course, the Good Men of the Legendary Announce Team will be bringing us all the coverage we've come to expect, even during the FOX-based race. Let's look at the schedule:
FRIDAY
P1: 4a-530a streaming
P2: 8a-940a live on SPEED
SATURDAY
P3: 4a-5a streaming
Quals: 7a-830a plausibly live on SPEED
SUNDAY
Pre-race: 1030a-11a tapedelay on SPEED
Grand Prix of Great Britain: 11a-1p tapedelay on FOX
Post-race: 1p-130p tapedelay on SPEED
REPLAY: 10p-1a on SPEED
Of course, all times are Pond Central. Add one hour for the East coast, subtract two for the West, and subtract five for all those F1 fans amongst the Laysan Albatrosses on Midway Atoll. We'll see you on Friday for coverage of P2!
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July 01, 2012
High School Of The Dead OVA
Okay, this is against my better judgement, but if I don't do an episodic
recap of this OVA, I'll feel like I've left the series incomplete...
and I hate that.
Unfortunately, this OVA is also one of the dumber things I've ever seen,
so there's that going against it. In the end, I know that if I don't
do it now, I'll end up doing it down the line, but only after its been
dangling over my head like a zombie of Damocles. So, like tearing
surgical tape off a hairy arm, it's best to get it over with quickly.
Now that I've set your expectations low, let me explain something about
this OVA. It's outside of continuity, meaning that whatever happens
here doesn't really happen. If
I was forced to jam it into the actual storyline from the series, it
wouldn't even fall between episodes... the best (and most likely)
solution I can come up with would be between 21:10 and 23:00 of Ep12...
in other words, during the final credits sequence. Considering that it
came packaged with Book 7 of the manga and never broadcast, I suppose
we're lucky it could even be shoehorned in at all. It's not worth the
trouble, though, trust me on this one. May as well get it over with...
Ladies and Gentlemen, the cast of HSotD is proud to present their version of On The Beach. The part of the nuclear submarine will be played by a wooden rowboat, Australia is played by a beach, and the fallout is played by zombies... war. War never changes. Oh, and the crew of the submarine will be played by a bunch of high schoolers. Other than that? Exactly the same.
On the run from the undead, harried and cornered no matter where they turn, The Fellowship finds a nuclear submarine rowboat and heads for... um... the sea! Because the sea is perfectly safe at all times, no matter how small the boat you may be in! Why, there's never even once been a rainstorm, typhoon, tsunami or flock of seagulls that's done in boats or ships!
But Frodo and Hirano got tired of rowing. They've ended up on some island near the city... one that these lifetime residents of the city have never heard of! Wow, what are the odds? Good news, no zombies! Bad news, no nothing else either! No shelter of any sort.
After all, we can't take it easy on The Fellowship, can we now? Where's the fun in that?
more...
Ladies and Gentlemen, the cast of HSotD is proud to present their version of On The Beach. The part of the nuclear submarine will be played by a wooden rowboat, Australia is played by a beach, and the fallout is played by zombies... war. War never changes. Oh, and the crew of the submarine will be played by a bunch of high schoolers. Other than that? Exactly the same.
On the run from the undead, harried and cornered no matter where they turn, The Fellowship finds a nuclear submarine rowboat and heads for... um... the sea! Because the sea is perfectly safe at all times, no matter how small the boat you may be in! Why, there's never even once been a rainstorm, typhoon, tsunami or flock of seagulls that's done in boats or ships!
But Frodo and Hirano got tired of rowing. They've ended up on some island near the city... one that these lifetime residents of the city have never heard of! Wow, what are the odds? Good news, no zombies! Bad news, no nothing else either! No shelter of any sort.
After all, we can't take it easy on The Fellowship, can we now? Where's the fun in that?
more...
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June 30, 2012
Name This Mystery Ship... er... Airplane XVIII
Here ya go, take your best shot!
No hints, no clues, no cheating.
No hints, no clues, no cheating.
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June 29, 2012
Five Words You Never Want To Hear...
...during the Summer in the Midwest: "Boy, the sky looks weird."
What you can't see in these pictures is the rolling at the forward edge. Yeesh. I nigh on wet myself with fear. The Midwest: don't like the weather? Just wait a few minutes, it'll change.
Click for apocalyptic size
This was what I saw when I went outside after a customer said the above five words. A few minutes later the skies opened up like Noah had been building an ark down the street. Fortunately, that was ALL that happened... I was expecting funnel clouds, a hail of frogs, a hail of hail, an Elder God to crawl up out of the ground, that sort of thing.What you can't see in these pictures is the rolling at the forward edge. Yeesh. I nigh on wet myself with fear. The Midwest: don't like the weather? Just wait a few minutes, it'll change.
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June 27, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep12
Okay. Here we go. The final episode of High School of the Dead's first, and to date only,
season. For those reading along at home, this takes us up through Book
4 of the manga. Six have been released here in the US, the seventh
comes out in a month or so, and then that's it. There ain't no more,
and the two Satos (Daisuke and Shouji, not related) involved in the
creation of the series have sort of... well... gotten tired of it, I
suppose. In any case, there is (barely) enough source material to
generate a full Season 2, so we can always hope. But that, my true and
dear readers, is in the future. We, on the other hand, are here in the
now, and we've gots ourselves the first season to finish up. If you
remember correctly, at the end of Ep11 all was chaos as nuclear missiles were flyin', Bug-Haired Rei actually
stopped whining and acted kinda heroic, and the ORGYBUS had been
expelled from Lothlorien... and if ever there was a sentence fragment I
never expected to write, that was it right there. Sounds like really
bad Lord of the Rings-Partridge Family crossover slashfic. As opposed to all that really good LotR-Partridge Family crossover slashfic you can find. Do not go looking, I don't want to know. Seriously. Not interested. Don't. Just... don't.
I've never been more relieved by the sight of a nuclear missile. Oh sure, it's a harbinger of the end of the world, but on the other hand, I won't have to deal with the thought of Galadriel and Reuben Kinkade doing... things. In more pleasant thoughts, there are four missiles in the air, the last reflexive spasm of a Chinese leadership turned into a merrily glowing parking lot. We later see that they're DF-21s, which have a relatively short range; they don't even cover all of Russia, and they surely can't reach Europe... but they can hit anywhere in Japan you'd like. Say goodbye to Akihabara! No more iDOLM@STER games. Hello Kitty? Melted by a heat higher than that of the sun. Sayonara, Hatsune Miku...
...that is, if there weren't ships of both the JMSDF and the US Navy patrolling off the coast of Japan. The USS Shiloh (CG-67), a Ticonderoga-class cruiser; the Kongo and Kirishima (DDG-173 and -174), both members of the Kongo-class of destroyers based on the US Navy's aegis destroyers, and finally the USS Curtis Wilbur, DDG-54. All four ships have Ballistic Missile Defense capabilities due to the combination of the Aegis radar system and the RIM-161 SM-3 missile. As you would expect, the ships go into automatic mode and engage the incoming Dong Feng-21s. There is much rejoicing as one by one, the nukes are taken down by the defenders... all but one, Curtis Wilbur's target, and she hasn't fired yet.
It appears that the crew started reading the Meriadoc/Laurie Partridge story. They dabbled in a realm men dare not go. God help us all if someone finds a Danny Partridge/Eowyn slashfic... mere military might will not be enough to defend us from that monstrosity. Oh, or the crew has been zombified, one of the two. As the crew of the International Space Station watches on in horror, the remaining DF-21arcs over and reaches its target.
Lothlorien, the Fellowship, ORGYBUS, Humvee-kun, Zeke... all of them gone in a single blinding flash, followed by a fireball the likes of which have only rarely been seen upon this planet, and a sad tune by the Ink Spots. Just like that, in a blink of an eye.
Thanks for reading.
more...
I've never been more relieved by the sight of a nuclear missile. Oh sure, it's a harbinger of the end of the world, but on the other hand, I won't have to deal with the thought of Galadriel and Reuben Kinkade doing... things. In more pleasant thoughts, there are four missiles in the air, the last reflexive spasm of a Chinese leadership turned into a merrily glowing parking lot. We later see that they're DF-21s, which have a relatively short range; they don't even cover all of Russia, and they surely can't reach Europe... but they can hit anywhere in Japan you'd like. Say goodbye to Akihabara! No more iDOLM@STER games. Hello Kitty? Melted by a heat higher than that of the sun. Sayonara, Hatsune Miku...
...that is, if there weren't ships of both the JMSDF and the US Navy patrolling off the coast of Japan. The USS Shiloh (CG-67), a Ticonderoga-class cruiser; the Kongo and Kirishima (DDG-173 and -174), both members of the Kongo-class of destroyers based on the US Navy's aegis destroyers, and finally the USS Curtis Wilbur, DDG-54. All four ships have Ballistic Missile Defense capabilities due to the combination of the Aegis radar system and the RIM-161 SM-3 missile. As you would expect, the ships go into automatic mode and engage the incoming Dong Feng-21s. There is much rejoicing as one by one, the nukes are taken down by the defenders... all but one, Curtis Wilbur's target, and she hasn't fired yet.
It appears that the crew started reading the Meriadoc/Laurie Partridge story. They dabbled in a realm men dare not go. God help us all if someone finds a Danny Partridge/Eowyn slashfic... mere military might will not be enough to defend us from that monstrosity. Oh, or the crew has been zombified, one of the two. As the crew of the International Space Station watches on in horror, the remaining DF-21arcs over and reaches its target.
Lothlorien, the Fellowship, ORGYBUS, Humvee-kun, Zeke... all of them gone in a single blinding flash, followed by a fireball the likes of which have only rarely been seen upon this planet, and a sad tune by the Ink Spots. Just like that, in a blink of an eye.
Thanks for reading.
more...
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June 26, 2012
Name This Mystery Ship XVII
The final episode writeup for HSotD is coming along nicely, but it won't be done in time to get posted tonight... so instead, here's a mystery ship!
You know the rules. No image lookup, one guess per person, my judgement is final, winner gets a post on a topic of their choice (no pr0n, religion or politics). Take your best shot in the comments! CXT and FDM don't get to play after the two of them basically won everything. Post no bills.
You know the rules. No image lookup, one guess per person, my judgement is final, winner gets a post on a topic of their choice (no pr0n, religion or politics). Take your best shot in the comments! CXT and FDM don't get to play after the two of them basically won everything. Post no bills.
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June 24, 2012
F1 Update!: Europe/Valencia 2012
A lovely, but hot cloudless day shined down upon the members of the F1 Circus as they formed up on the grid behind Seb Vettel. The asphalt of the harbor-circling circuit was running right around the point where the tires would begin to be goofy, but wasn't quite there yet. Would the conditions play into the reigning world driver champion's hands, or would we see an eighth winner in eight races? Or would one of the other previous winners figure out the challenge of the Red Bull driver? THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2012 Grand Prix of Europe @ Valencia!
*LIGHTS OUT: As the race began, all of our worst fears came to the fore. Seb Vettel had an absolutely blinding start, streaking away from McLaren's Lewis Hamilton to the tune of 1.7sec by the end of the first lap. It was four seconds by the end of the third lap and 7.6 seconds by the end of lap five. In short, it looked like we had a flat-out massacre in the making. By the time the first round of pit stops had ended on Lap 20, the lead was up to 19 seconds over Lettuce Grosjean, who had three seconds in hand over Hamilton. The surprise of the race to this point was the performance of Ferrari's HWMNBN, up to sixth from his starting position of 11th on the grid. Of course, picking up three spots on the first lap goes a long way towards that jump, but the fact still remains.
*A MOMENT OF LEVITY: On Lap 14, the Williams of Metropolitan Maldonado was being closely pursued by the Lotus of Mumbles Raikkonen when, out of nowhere, this occurred:
A straw hat came flying out of one of the radiator inlets of Maldonado's car, flooping through the air and landing harmlessly behind the Finn's chariot. An odd moment in an otherwise dull race at the time.
*AND THEN: Everything was tossed into a cocked straw hat. As the leaders were on Lap 28, Jules Vergne tried to pass the Caterham of Heikki Kovaleinninninninnie. As he went past the left side of the green car, his right-rear tire gently kissed the Finn's front-left. The result was amazing and swift, despite the gentleness of the contact.
Vergne's tire shredded itself and whatever bodywork the flailing carcass could reach, scattering debris over a long, wide stretch of the circuit. Kovaleinninninnie, more experienced, guided his car slowly to the pits, keeping his tire in more or less one piece. He would continue, but the rookie's car was retired immediately on making it to the pits. Because of the stunning amount of debris, the Safety Car was called out to allow the sweepers to man their brooms.
*EVERYTHING CHANGES: After the rush of pit lane activity, the standings were Vettel, Grosjean, HWMNBN, Daniel Ricciardo (who had not yet stopped for tires), Mumbles, Hamilton (who lost at least two positions when his pit stop went to hell due to falling off the front jack), Nico Rosberg, Slappy Schumacher, Mark Webber (who started 19th) and Maldonado. On Lap 33, the Safety Car turned off its lights and Vettel slowed to let it pull away, then got on the gas to stay ahead of the drivers behind. Both Grosjean and HWMNBN ran with him, leaving the rest of the field in their dust. As the first three turned onto the front straight, the Ferrari leaped all over the back of the Lotus, passing Lettuce as they went into Turn 2, in something of a brave move. And then...
...Vettel pulled over to the side of the track, his alternator burned out from the heat. The somewhat partisan Spanish crowd went somewhat insane as their native son improbably took the lead of the race. The race was far from over, however, as Lettuce Grosjean smelled a chance to win his first ever Grand Prix. Following closely, he hounded the two-time driver's champion for seven laps before...
...he pulled over to the side of the track, his alternator burned out from the heat. It is no coincidence that both the Red Bull and the Lotus are powered by Renault engines. The failure allowed Hamilton to move into second place, followed by Mumbles and Metropolitan.
*ENDGAME: It stayed this way until the closing couple of laps, when Hamilton's tires began to fade, allowing him to be passed by Mumbles for second on Lap 55, while Maldonado closed in as well. And then the red mist settled over Hamilton's eyes and he went into full defensive mode. As Maldonado tried to pass after the DRS zone, the McLaren driver shoved him wide. With a set of "sleeping policemen" staring him in the face, the Williams driver had no place to go.
While the BBC announcers were somewhat apoplectic, the Legendary Announce Team had the right of it: the way the rules are written now, Hamilton had to leave Maldonado some room and didn't. Hamilton ended up in the wall, radiator broken. Maldonado lost his front wing, and with the resultant loss of downforce ended up 10th, and was later given a 20 second penalty for "causing the accident". This coming together had the amazing result of vaulting Slappy Schumacher into third place, with Mark Webber close behind in 4th... which is the way the race ended.
*AFTERWARDS: HWMNBN violated the rules.
We believe that, if the FIA penalizes him for pulling over and taking a flag from track worker, the entire country of Spain should march on their offices and cover them in paella. And we don't like HWMNBN.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: It's hard to not give it to HWMNBN. Sure, everybody ahead of him died on the track, essentially handing him the win, but he had to be in position to take it... and he was, despite starting 11th. A solid drive indeed, and one that made him the surprise first two-time winner this season. Honorable mentions to both Slappy Schumacher for his first podium in the three years since he unretired, and Mark Webber, who finished fourth despite starting 19th.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: We're proud to give this one to Force India. They finished 5th and 7th and didn't put a tire wrong at all. Mercedes may have finished higher (3rd+6th), but something about their result felt... wrong, probably because Rosberg started sixth and should have done better than finishing in the same place.
*MOVE OF THE RACE: HWMNBN's pass on Lettuce Grosjean for 2nd place was quite good, but there's no good footage of it. Just take our word for it.
*MOOOOOO-OOOOVE OF THE RACE: Jules Vergne's clumsy wallowing that put paid to his race and damaged Heikki Kovaleinninninnie's Caterham was pretty egregious. It was like he forgot he was passing another car.
If you look carefully, you can see an orange spot where they're making contact. There's so much room around them, it's amazing... and Vergne still hit him. Simply stupid... and the perfect Moo.
*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:
more...
*LIGHTS OUT: As the race began, all of our worst fears came to the fore. Seb Vettel had an absolutely blinding start, streaking away from McLaren's Lewis Hamilton to the tune of 1.7sec by the end of the first lap. It was four seconds by the end of the third lap and 7.6 seconds by the end of lap five. In short, it looked like we had a flat-out massacre in the making. By the time the first round of pit stops had ended on Lap 20, the lead was up to 19 seconds over Lettuce Grosjean, who had three seconds in hand over Hamilton. The surprise of the race to this point was the performance of Ferrari's HWMNBN, up to sixth from his starting position of 11th on the grid. Of course, picking up three spots on the first lap goes a long way towards that jump, but the fact still remains.
*A MOMENT OF LEVITY: On Lap 14, the Williams of Metropolitan Maldonado was being closely pursued by the Lotus of Mumbles Raikkonen when, out of nowhere, this occurred:
A straw hat came flying out of one of the radiator inlets of Maldonado's car, flooping through the air and landing harmlessly behind the Finn's chariot. An odd moment in an otherwise dull race at the time.
*AND THEN: Everything was tossed into a cocked straw hat. As the leaders were on Lap 28, Jules Vergne tried to pass the Caterham of Heikki Kovaleinninninninnie. As he went past the left side of the green car, his right-rear tire gently kissed the Finn's front-left. The result was amazing and swift, despite the gentleness of the contact.
Vergne's tire shredded itself and whatever bodywork the flailing carcass could reach, scattering debris over a long, wide stretch of the circuit. Kovaleinninninnie, more experienced, guided his car slowly to the pits, keeping his tire in more or less one piece. He would continue, but the rookie's car was retired immediately on making it to the pits. Because of the stunning amount of debris, the Safety Car was called out to allow the sweepers to man their brooms.
*EVERYTHING CHANGES: After the rush of pit lane activity, the standings were Vettel, Grosjean, HWMNBN, Daniel Ricciardo (who had not yet stopped for tires), Mumbles, Hamilton (who lost at least two positions when his pit stop went to hell due to falling off the front jack), Nico Rosberg, Slappy Schumacher, Mark Webber (who started 19th) and Maldonado. On Lap 33, the Safety Car turned off its lights and Vettel slowed to let it pull away, then got on the gas to stay ahead of the drivers behind. Both Grosjean and HWMNBN ran with him, leaving the rest of the field in their dust. As the first three turned onto the front straight, the Ferrari leaped all over the back of the Lotus, passing Lettuce as they went into Turn 2, in something of a brave move. And then...
...Vettel pulled over to the side of the track, his alternator burned out from the heat. The somewhat partisan Spanish crowd went somewhat insane as their native son improbably took the lead of the race. The race was far from over, however, as Lettuce Grosjean smelled a chance to win his first ever Grand Prix. Following closely, he hounded the two-time driver's champion for seven laps before...
...he pulled over to the side of the track, his alternator burned out from the heat. It is no coincidence that both the Red Bull and the Lotus are powered by Renault engines. The failure allowed Hamilton to move into second place, followed by Mumbles and Metropolitan.
*ENDGAME: It stayed this way until the closing couple of laps, when Hamilton's tires began to fade, allowing him to be passed by Mumbles for second on Lap 55, while Maldonado closed in as well. And then the red mist settled over Hamilton's eyes and he went into full defensive mode. As Maldonado tried to pass after the DRS zone, the McLaren driver shoved him wide. With a set of "sleeping policemen" staring him in the face, the Williams driver had no place to go.
While the BBC announcers were somewhat apoplectic, the Legendary Announce Team had the right of it: the way the rules are written now, Hamilton had to leave Maldonado some room and didn't. Hamilton ended up in the wall, radiator broken. Maldonado lost his front wing, and with the resultant loss of downforce ended up 10th, and was later given a 20 second penalty for "causing the accident". This coming together had the amazing result of vaulting Slappy Schumacher into third place, with Mark Webber close behind in 4th... which is the way the race ended.
*AFTERWARDS: HWMNBN violated the rules.
We believe that, if the FIA penalizes him for pulling over and taking a flag from track worker, the entire country of Spain should march on their offices and cover them in paella. And we don't like HWMNBN.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: It's hard to not give it to HWMNBN. Sure, everybody ahead of him died on the track, essentially handing him the win, but he had to be in position to take it... and he was, despite starting 11th. A solid drive indeed, and one that made him the surprise first two-time winner this season. Honorable mentions to both Slappy Schumacher for his first podium in the three years since he unretired, and Mark Webber, who finished fourth despite starting 19th.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: We're proud to give this one to Force India. They finished 5th and 7th and didn't put a tire wrong at all. Mercedes may have finished higher (3rd+6th), but something about their result felt... wrong, probably because Rosberg started sixth and should have done better than finishing in the same place.
*MOVE OF THE RACE: HWMNBN's pass on Lettuce Grosjean for 2nd place was quite good, but there's no good footage of it. Just take our word for it.
*MOOOOOO-OOOOVE OF THE RACE: Jules Vergne's clumsy wallowing that put paid to his race and damaged Heikki Kovaleinninninnie's Caterham was pretty egregious. It was like he forgot he was passing another car.
If you look carefully, you can see an orange spot where they're making contact. There's so much room around them, it's amazing... and Vergne still hit him. Simply stupid... and the perfect Moo.
*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:
more...
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June 23, 2012
F1 Quals: Europe/Valencia 2012
A beautiful day dawned over the harbor and docks of Valencia as the F1 Circus headed out to figure out who would start where for the 2012 Grand Prix of Europe. What was the result? Let's take a look at the provisional grid:
Yup, Sebby Vettel is on pole, joining Lewis Hamilton as the only drivers this season who have headed the timesheet twice. It's his third consecutive Valencia pole to boot. Lewis Hamilton joins him on the front row, making it look like nothing's changed. But that's where it all begins to go pear-shaped, at least as far as history goes. Only Jenson Button could have been expected to have been one of the top runners last year, and he's but ninth. Around him are both Force Indias, and ahead of him are the likes of Gandalf, Lettuce, Metropolitan, Wonderboy and Mumbles. Names like HWMNBN, Slappy and Mark Webber didn't even make it to Q3, and a technical difficulty meant the latter didn't even make it to Q2.
Yes, it's a weird grid, which is good. However, the front of the grid is the same as it often is, and that's not good. With passing at a premium here, seeing Vettel up at the front of the grid puts a chill in the heart, and puts the Different Winner streak in jeopardy. We can only hope that Lettuce makes the leap!
You may notice that Tim O'Glockenspiel has an ugly "DNS" before his name. Unfortunately, he was taken to a hospital overnight with a stomach ailment. There's some question as to whether he'll be okay to race on Sunday. If he is, he may not be allowed to start; that'll be up to the stewards. Darn shame.
Race is tomorrow morning, but we won't get to see it here in the US until 11am on FOX. Ah, the wonders of tape-delay. See you then!
Yup, Sebby Vettel is on pole, joining Lewis Hamilton as the only drivers this season who have headed the timesheet twice. It's his third consecutive Valencia pole to boot. Lewis Hamilton joins him on the front row, making it look like nothing's changed. But that's where it all begins to go pear-shaped, at least as far as history goes. Only Jenson Button could have been expected to have been one of the top runners last year, and he's but ninth. Around him are both Force Indias, and ahead of him are the likes of Gandalf, Lettuce, Metropolitan, Wonderboy and Mumbles. Names like HWMNBN, Slappy and Mark Webber didn't even make it to Q3, and a technical difficulty meant the latter didn't even make it to Q2.
Yes, it's a weird grid, which is good. However, the front of the grid is the same as it often is, and that's not good. With passing at a premium here, seeing Vettel up at the front of the grid puts a chill in the heart, and puts the Different Winner streak in jeopardy. We can only hope that Lettuce makes the leap!
You may notice that Tim O'Glockenspiel has an ugly "DNS" before his name. Unfortunately, he was taken to a hospital overnight with a stomach ailment. There's some question as to whether he'll be okay to race on Sunday. If he is, he may not be allowed to start; that'll be up to the stewards. Darn shame.
Race is tomorrow morning, but we won't get to see it here in the US until 11am on FOX. Ah, the wonders of tape-delay. See you then!
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June 22, 2012
F1 Practice: Europe/Valencia 2012
Welcome to beautiful Valencia!
Ahhhhhhhhh, you can just smell the ambiance! Why wouldn't we want to race here?
Lots of lock-ups all day as drivers tried to come to grips with the green, dusty asphalt, but it became an official session when Pete Rose stuck his HRT into a tirewall will some violence. It ain't real until you've got a dead HRT somewhere one the side of the road.
Reportedly, the weather at Valencia today was about 12 degrees cooler than they're expecting on Sunday. Of course, this played hob with the tires, and pretty much binned any sort of setup tests the teams may have been planning. So, yay, I guess. Nobody will know what they're doing! That should make Sunday even more (ahem) exciting.
Sebby Vettel was fastest on Friday, which means nothing, of course... except that he's won the last two races here. I know that practice results have zero relevance to anything on Saturday or Sunday, but it doesn't fill my heart with warm fuzzies to hear that he's again faster than all. I dunno about you guys, but I'd really like to see an eighth winner in eight races. I think we could legitimately see 10 for 10, though I'm not holding my breath.
Quals tomorrow morning, see ya there!
Ahhhhhhhhh, you can just smell the ambiance! Why wouldn't we want to race here?
Lots of lock-ups all day as drivers tried to come to grips with the green, dusty asphalt, but it became an official session when Pete Rose stuck his HRT into a tirewall will some violence. It ain't real until you've got a dead HRT somewhere one the side of the road.
Reportedly, the weather at Valencia today was about 12 degrees cooler than they're expecting on Sunday. Of course, this played hob with the tires, and pretty much binned any sort of setup tests the teams may have been planning. So, yay, I guess. Nobody will know what they're doing! That should make Sunday even more (ahem) exciting.
Sebby Vettel was fastest on Friday, which means nothing, of course... except that he's won the last two races here. I know that practice results have zero relevance to anything on Saturday or Sunday, but it doesn't fill my heart with warm fuzzies to hear that he's again faster than all. I dunno about you guys, but I'd really like to see an eighth winner in eight races. I think we could legitimately see 10 for 10, though I'm not holding my breath.
Quals tomorrow morning, see ya there!
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June 21, 2012
Critical Internet Fail
Everything is loading but slowly. Very slowly. Glaciers move faster. The "Help Desk" tells me that my internet connection is limited. No, you don't say? Really?
Blogging will resume... eventually. I think. No idea when. You don't wanna know how long it took to load in the "Create Post" screen.
Blogging will resume... eventually. I think. No idea when. You don't wanna know how long it took to load in the "Create Post" screen.
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June 19, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep11
All right, so Ep10 wasn't the most sterling example of the wonderment that can be High School of the Dead.
I'll grant you that, but it was important for all that
"characterization" stuff the kids talk about these days. I'll tell ya,
back in my day we didn't cotton to newfangled concepts like that, no
sir. We'd gotten along perfectly well for hundreds of years without
fancy-schmancy character advancement or engrossing plots or witty
repartee. We had fanservice and episode-long powerup sequences, and
that was all right with us. But now! Now, you can't have a show
without half the cast becoming fully actualized people along the way.
Sheer folly! That's why I appreciate shows like HSotD; it's a throwback to the days where we were lucky to have any anime at all. Just with better art.
See? I told you it was going to be a 747 of doomy doom! I think it's safe to say that President Skippy Henderson is no longer amongst the living... but he may be amongst the unliving, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
If nothing else, you've got to hand it to the unnamed (and unseen) pilot of AF1. Imagine... you're flying along, you've got a jumbo jet full of politicians, media, and the living dead (but I repeat myself), pretty much every airport in the world that's able to handle a 747 is probably full of zombies, if you even have the fuel to get to any of them. Sooner or later, those that wish to eat your brains, as well as zombies, will be smashing at the door to the flight deck... and the one chance you've got is to put your jumbo jet on the ground. That he was able to do so at all is pretty amazing. That the plane is in relatively such good shape is astonishing. I mean, the plane is still recognizable, the wings are still attached (well, mostly), it's a safe guess that the fuselage didn't break until the post-landing fire consumed much of the plane's spine... for all intents and purposes, that thing is in one piece. Even the engines are still attached. That's some mighty fine flyin' right there... too bad the pilot and co-pilot are surely zombiechow.
Yet this guy is still alive and kickin'. There ain't no justice in this world. Not that the other people on the bus would agree with me...
...'cause he's got them believing that they're the Saviors of the World, their pure spirits and bodies (particularly their bodies) will guide us all out of the dark. He is honored just to be associated with them, and their pure spirits (and bodies) will clean the taint of his adult soul. He's not worthy, blah blah blah. Of course, they eat it up. That he turns the bus into ORGYBUS during "rest time" surely has nothing to do with it, heavens no.
Yes, I said ORGYBUS. This is HSotD we're talking about here, after all...
more...
See? I told you it was going to be a 747 of doomy doom! I think it's safe to say that President Skippy Henderson is no longer amongst the living... but he may be amongst the unliving, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
If nothing else, you've got to hand it to the unnamed (and unseen) pilot of AF1. Imagine... you're flying along, you've got a jumbo jet full of politicians, media, and the living dead (but I repeat myself), pretty much every airport in the world that's able to handle a 747 is probably full of zombies, if you even have the fuel to get to any of them. Sooner or later, those that wish to eat your brains, as well as zombies, will be smashing at the door to the flight deck... and the one chance you've got is to put your jumbo jet on the ground. That he was able to do so at all is pretty amazing. That the plane is in relatively such good shape is astonishing. I mean, the plane is still recognizable, the wings are still attached (well, mostly), it's a safe guess that the fuselage didn't break until the post-landing fire consumed much of the plane's spine... for all intents and purposes, that thing is in one piece. Even the engines are still attached. That's some mighty fine flyin' right there... too bad the pilot and co-pilot are surely zombiechow.
Yet this guy is still alive and kickin'. There ain't no justice in this world. Not that the other people on the bus would agree with me...
...'cause he's got them believing that they're the Saviors of the World, their pure spirits and bodies (particularly their bodies) will guide us all out of the dark. He is honored just to be associated with them, and their pure spirits (and bodies) will clean the taint of his adult soul. He's not worthy, blah blah blah. Of course, they eat it up. That he turns the bus into ORGYBUS during "rest time" surely has nothing to do with it, heavens no.
Yes, I said ORGYBUS. This is HSotD we're talking about here, after all...
more...
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F1 on TV!: Europe 2012
After a brief sojourn to North America for the Canadian Grand Prix, it's back to Europe for the second of the F1 Circus "home" races. This time we find ourselves in Valencia, Spain for the so-called Grand Prix of Europe. Let's take a look at the track map:
Welp, there's no beating around the bush: this track sucks. There's yet to be a good race at this so-called "street circuit" that runs around the harbor the America's Cup defense used a few years back. Except it has none of the hallmarks of a street track: the road is wide and smooth, the warehouses are far from picturesque, even the turns in the technical section are more like a standard Tilke abomination than a street race. Forget about passing, because he Mickey-moused the whole darn thing... prior to the 2011 race, there were only four known passes in three races. It's telling that the most memorable features of past races is Mark Webber's impromptu flight and Kamui Kobayashi holding up the entire field (earning his nickname "Gandalf" in the process). In other words, an accident and no passing. Sound like a good track to you? Yeah, me neither. Well, the bridge crossing is photogenic at least.
If you like catchfencing, at least. Well, we'll take what we can get, and hope for rain. One good thing, I suppose: in 2011, we had no retirements from the race, meaning all 24 cars finished... a F1 first.
Just think, this is one of the NATIONAL broadcast races, too. Good call, FOX. Well, at least we've got the Legendary Announce Team doing their usual coverage. Here's the schedule:
FRIDAY
3a-430a: P1 streaming
7a-840a: P2 live on SPEED
SATURDAY
4a-5a: P3 streaming
7a-830a: Quals, plausibly live, on SPEED
SUNDAY
1030a-11a: Pre-race show, tapedelayed on SPEED
11a-1p: 2012 Grand Prix of Europe @ Valencia, tapedelayed on FOX
1p-130p: Post-race, tapedelayed on SPEED (after race, time may vary)
This is how we here at F1U! will willingly spend our Sunday. Yay us! See ya then!
Welp, there's no beating around the bush: this track sucks. There's yet to be a good race at this so-called "street circuit" that runs around the harbor the America's Cup defense used a few years back. Except it has none of the hallmarks of a street track: the road is wide and smooth, the warehouses are far from picturesque, even the turns in the technical section are more like a standard Tilke abomination than a street race. Forget about passing, because he Mickey-moused the whole darn thing... prior to the 2011 race, there were only four known passes in three races. It's telling that the most memorable features of past races is Mark Webber's impromptu flight and Kamui Kobayashi holding up the entire field (earning his nickname "Gandalf" in the process). In other words, an accident and no passing. Sound like a good track to you? Yeah, me neither. Well, the bridge crossing is photogenic at least.
If you like catchfencing, at least. Well, we'll take what we can get, and hope for rain. One good thing, I suppose: in 2011, we had no retirements from the race, meaning all 24 cars finished... a F1 first.
Just think, this is one of the NATIONAL broadcast races, too. Good call, FOX. Well, at least we've got the Legendary Announce Team doing their usual coverage. Here's the schedule:
FRIDAY
3a-430a: P1 streaming
7a-840a: P2 live on SPEED
SATURDAY
4a-5a: P3 streaming
7a-830a: Quals, plausibly live, on SPEED
SUNDAY
1030a-11a: Pre-race show, tapedelayed on SPEED
11a-1p: 2012 Grand Prix of Europe @ Valencia, tapedelayed on FOX
1p-130p: Post-race, tapedelayed on SPEED (after race, time may vary)
This is how we here at F1U! will willingly spend our Sunday. Yay us! See ya then!
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June 16, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep10
So last time,
we pretty much had an epic episode, what with the Saeko backstory and
the Saeko swordplay and the Saeko BSOD and the Saeko gets splashed by
lots of water twice and the Saeko ginsuing zombies and the psycho Saeko
and the Saeko Saeko Saeko Saeko Saeko. Saeko. I guess what I'm saying
is that a Saekocentric episode is pretty much as awesome as this show
can get, more or less. So how in the world can the production staff
hope to follow up such marvelousness?
Why, with fanservice, of course. How else would HSotD deal with an issue? And it throws it at us so quickly that I had to break my introduction formatting (two or three pictures, followed by a Title screen), otherwise The Pond would suddenly become NSFW on the front page. We can't have that, no no no, this is a family blog. Mostly. More or less. How many of you realized that I even followed my own formatting rules? It's fine if you didn't, it's not like I advertise it or anything, but these things ain't just thrown together on a wing and a prayer, y'know. They're keenly thought out, finely detailed, nigh-on exquisite gems of literary excess.
more...
Why, with fanservice, of course. How else would HSotD deal with an issue? And it throws it at us so quickly that I had to break my introduction formatting (two or three pictures, followed by a Title screen), otherwise The Pond would suddenly become NSFW on the front page. We can't have that, no no no, this is a family blog. Mostly. More or less. How many of you realized that I even followed my own formatting rules? It's fine if you didn't, it's not like I advertise it or anything, but these things ain't just thrown together on a wing and a prayer, y'know. They're keenly thought out, finely detailed, nigh-on exquisite gems of literary excess.
more...
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June 15, 2012
Still Creepy?
I've been informed that the second picture was even worse than the first. I deeply and humbly apologize. Let me fix that.
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June 13, 2012
A Public Service from your friends at The Pond
It has been brought to my attention that the owl in the preceding post is, and I quote here, "creepy." Well, far be it for your friends at The Pond to be creepy in any way, shape or form, heavens no! We hate creepy in all its myriad forms and guises. To the last, Creepy, I will grapple with thee... from Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee, Creepy! And I replace thee with another picture.
Thank you for your continued patience.
Thank you for your continued patience.
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